Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Happy Birthday Madeline

Two years ago today, your daddy and I just barely made it to the hospital for your birth. Things were fast, furious, and painful. Three pushes and you were born at 7:14AM on October 20, 2008. You were born weighing 9 pounds 5 ounces and 20 inches long. The world seemed to stop for a few seconds after your birth. You were so beautiful and looked so small. As the nurse laid you on my chest, our eyes locked. You knew I was your mommy. I had prayed for you and that moment, the moment I met you, was glorious. It’s impossible to put into words.

As I sit here now, I think how fast these two years have gone by, how I wish I could somehow slow down time. In some strange way I’m sad and excited all at the same time. Sad that you are no longer a “baby”, sad that I blinked and two years have gone by. But, I’m also excited, excited about what your future holds, excited for you to take dance classes, excited for you to have conversations with me and share secrets your sister. I’m excited that one day you will be able to read my words to you. I hope that you will have a glimpse of what your beginning was. How filled with love I am for you, your sister, and your daddy; a deep complicated affection that makes me swell with emotion and tears as I write this, at 12:53 in the afternoon, as you’re napping in your pink and brown nursery.

You are the most wonderful and fun little girl. You’re so strong, and so smart. You’re a tough little thing, sometimes dramatic, and so so funny. Without your knowledge, I sit and watch you as you play. You amaze me. You’re so sweet and soft with your babies. You kiss on them and take care of them with such tenderness, a tenderness that sustains me. You make me laugh. You’re so dramatic and your expressions are hysterical. You have a feisty side and can definitely stand your ground. You let us all know when you’ve been wronged or are frustrated. You love your sister. She is the first person you look for when you wake in the morning. You run to her and hug her when we pick her up from school. You imitate everything she does. You’re a daddy’s girl, which is new to me because Kayie is a mama’s girl, but I love it. I love how you get excited and run to him when he comes home. I love that you ask him, and not me, to change your dirty diaper. I love that he will teach you what kind of a man to marry, a man just like him.

For the past week you have let me rock you to sleep, something you normally won’t let me do. I would like to think that somehow you know. Know that I need to stare at you as you sleep in my arms and try my best to memorize every little facet of your face, and hands, and feet. I need to soak in these last days of having a beautiful, sweet one year old baby. I hope, my sweet little girl, that you can somehow understand how profound, fierce, and altruistic my love for you is. Always remember that no matter how much you grow, you will always be my baby.

Happy 2nd birthday sweet Madeline Grace!


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